Wednesday Planter: Personal Transition #6: From self-focused to Kingdom-focused.

I've worked in a string of several very shallow, very selfish congregations. That sounds harsh, but it's true. It's also true that each of those shallow, selfish congregations had a shallow, selfish pastor at the time I was there. So, honestly, we both got what we deserved. :)

We live in a me-oriented society - so people (including Christians) are trained to be selfish from their first breath. That carries over into the church-at-large, too. Many Christians believe that the Church exists to serve and cater to them, but not to actually grow them or challenge them.

Rather than baptize people when they made their confession of faith, I saved up those baptisms until Sunday when we could do them in front of the church and people could say, "Man, that pastor's sure doing a good job getting those people baptized." You know, it was job security - as I've said before, I didn't see those people so much as additions to the Kingdom as I saw them as job security, the proverbial loaf of bread.

I had to move from fulfilling a perverted personal need (the need to be liked and affirmed) to instilling a kingdom motivation inside me: the desire to be like Jesus. Unfortunately, my unhealthy need for approval was burying the healthy choice I needed to make. I was trapped in a life-paradigm I couldn't get out of.

A pastor friend I admired finally confronted me: "I don't know what to do with you. You're so concerned about what people think. You're so locked into doing rather than being. You wanna do what the apostles did, but you don't wanna be what the apostles were. Ministry wasn't a career for them. It was a lifestyle. It had nothing to do with a paycheck. They would have done it - and did - for free while doing other things. Until you come to that point, you're never gonna get it."

Those were some of the most painful words ever spoken to me, and it took me several more years of professional abuse and quite a few hours with a Christian counselor before I could start to get it. Honestly, I know that I still don't get it, not at the level I should, but at least I've headed in that direction and away from my own phobias and insecurities. That feels good.

Wednesday Planter: Personal Transition #1: "New" Requires Change. Change Requires Risk. Risk Requires Permission to Fail.

At Adventure, we admit failure. In fact, we encourage people to risk it in ministry. If they're never failing, they aren't taking risks, and that means they're not changing — and if there's no change, there's no hope of growth. (This is hard for me because I’m a perfectionist. In fact, even admitting being a perfectionist is a challenge because to confess perfectionism is to confess being imperfect – something tough for a perfectionist!) :)

I look back on our launch in 1998 and think how many things we totally screwed up, but those same mistakes ultimately added to our strength and our appeal later on.

One of the funnier things was that we hand delivered cook-out invitations to 2500 homes, giving two dates and locations to choose from, and promised people friendly conversation with no obligation. We prepared for the onslaught.

The first night, five people showed up, all in one family, and it was the wife of a pastor who was coming to cheer us on.

The second night, we moved our cookout to a new spot. Three people come (one family). The whole idea was a strategic failure.

Yet that pastor's family who came by that first night was a contact that 7 years later would give us the opportunity to love and minister to 40+ inner city kids from broken homes who needed - now have - a loving church home.

The three who came the second night, was a family who owned a direct mail company. They offered to handle our direct mail at only the cost of the postage — a savings of several thousand dollars for us!

Over the years, we’ve done more things that failed than succeeded, yet none of those positive things would’ve happened had we not been willing to risk failure.

We frequently tell the stories of our failures, and we laugh (some are simply hilarious). But what has often appeared to be a failure at the time has turned into a success later on. Because of that willingness to fail or let people fail, we've done some unique things you won’t find in many other congregations.

The bottom line: New requires risk. While not all change is progress, all progress involves change and risk. Risk requires the opportunity to fail, to change, and to try again. If you’re a perfectionist like me, get over it. Success requires the possibility of imperfections – and lots of them.