Several years ago, a couple of concerned parents brought their unmarried daughter and her boyfriend to my office to have them confess that they were pregnant. These were good kids who had just made a mistake (albeit a very serious one), but I quickly learned that this wasn't about restoring and helping the kids, but about the girl's mom and how she believed people would perceive her.
A few minutes into the meeting, the kids were tearful and repentant without any prodding from us, but mom suddenly started hyperventilating and fainted dead away, drawing all attention to her. We all immediately responded to aid her, and over the next minute or so, when I suggested calling 911, I happened to be looking at her face when she began to "come to". Her eyes cracked open slightly, but they were purposeful in where they looked. I began to suspect this was all a show.
A few days later as I sat at my desk, mom came in again. After a few minutes, she "passed out" and fell onto the floor. I sat still at my desk for a moment. Then I turned and went back to working on my computer. After about two minutes, I detected motion out of the corner of my eye. I kept typing but focused my attention to that motion and realized I was seeing one fourth of a head and one eye slowly peering up over the edge of my desk to see what I was doing - and then it slowly disappeared. A minute or so later, I heard her say as she started to move, "What happened? Oh, I'm okay now. I'm fine." And she got back up and sat on my sofa.
I looked at her and said, "I expect that from two year olds who don't get their way, but that is shameful behavior for a grown woman. If you ever do that again, I'm gonna bend you over my knee and paddle your bottom like you're two years old. Do you understand?" She quietly nodded yes and left my office.
About a month later, right before I left that congregation for a new job, her husband came in to see me. He said, "I know my wife came to see you a few days ago, and I don't know what you told her, but I want to thank you. Whatever you told her has really made a difference. She's like a new woman. She less like her mother and more like the woman I married. Thank you."
I smiled and told him, "Sometimes there are some things we just can't hear from family that we can hear from friends." :)
3 comments:
Every church has their dramatic artists.
And if they aren't confronted with it like this they pass it on to their kids...usually mom to daughter.
It takes a discerning pastor to see it for what it is and ignore the drama, which is the best thing to do.
I had a guy fall out of his seat during a new members class. I had seen it before a couple of times...he'd just fling himself on the floor.
This time, while everyone (new to our church) started to see how they could help I just calmly said, "It's ok. He does this sometimes. He'll be back up in just a moment." I kept teaching.
They all looked at him, looked at me and we kept going.
About a minute later he got up in his chair and never did it again. At least not at our church. ha
Crazy stuff!
John, the one I'll share next Monday sounds a lot like yours! :)
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